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1月社区之星:花渊°

1月社区之星:花渊°ID:花渊°

年龄:18
姓名:许璐
爱好:文字音乐/发呆和怀念
宣言:这时光凉薄如洗,我如何平静且坦然?

粉红色的棉花糖给你

采访整理/红莲

在一个星期之后得到她的回复,女孩说大病归来。
她发穿白色的蕾丝睡衣以及戴藏银手链的照片,微微握起的拳头透露安静不妥协的力量。
我说这感觉很熟悉。
像鬼片的感觉吗。她反问。
于是我告诉她其实贞子很可爱。

1月社区之星:花渊°

安静而干净的女孩儿。因为贫血而苍白的脸孔,语气庸懒表情淡然。
“好吧,告诉我可以有什么好处”。当我通知她这个月的社区之星由她上时她这样对我说。
像只狡黠的猫。
黑暗中充满诱惑而危险的猫,或者,也许是独自在阳光下舔伤口的猫。
因为女孩说她需要温暖。阳光会杀菌使我们健康以及蒸发某些莫名的液体,比如眼泪。
黑眼圈是哭出来的吗。
不是。
我可以想象女孩的回答定是如此。想要温暖却又害怕靠的太近,会探及难以企及的疤。“很矛盾”,她说,“我是容易沉迷和依恋的人。”
明白距离产生安全和美感,明白时光终究会使我们疏远。这样的女孩她说不想再给任何人伤害她的机会。倔强而从容的吐出一个即认的事实。习惯从小被所有人宠溺,但是大概是常人的不认真使她心生戒备。清楚了本质于是不再相信。即使习惯了内心的孤独,也无法抛去外表的喧闹。自顾自怜的矛盾符合青春期的莫名骚动,女孩把这归结于此,于是不做深入,不做探究,继续维持繁华和冷漠的姿态。
我明白这种状态,为了失去的东西以及为了不再失去任何东西所选择的姿态只是为了保护自己。大抵都是如此。这个缺乏安全感的年代。

1月社区之星:花渊°

有时候会很沉默。循循善诱的问答无法激起她的兴趣,彼此小心翼翼,心知肚明陌生人并不会给予自己安慰,女孩说并不希冀别人能够懂她。
骄傲不可一世的女孩儿。
别人称她为小公主的女孩儿。
和大部分人用亲爱的作为称呼,也许这是个温暖的形容词,和喜欢的女孩以及男孩们可以肆无忌惮。有时候会羡慕。多么美好的年华之类的。因为于我本身来说吐出这个词还是会略显生涩。
女孩说她是容易和人亲昵的人却也是让你无法靠近灵魂的人,她说她相信人与人之间感情的真挚。只是,知道这抵不过时间。
可是女孩,在你这样年纪的交往中并不会充斥太多是非功利,不要怀疑别人的接近会有目的。容貌天赐。好看的外表并不会成为阻碍。在怎样的年龄做怎样的事,任性妄为也并非不可。就像蓝天高高耸立在各处清澈透明一样,你亦应该如此的简单快乐。

女孩也写字。大段大段的直白和碎语。不露声色的诉说。她说偶尔会被置疑悲观厌世实质却乐观异常。一如既往骄傲的防备。但是我知道本身让一个女孩说出坚强两字已经是莫大的残忍,虽然她深觉身体健康,远离饥饿贫寒,即是最大的福祉。
在女孩的BLOG听到莫文蔚的《爱情》,知道其刚结束一段纠缠的感情。如歌词所说:爱是折磨人的东西却又舍不得这样放弃。在此仅愿一切安好。
越漂亮,越无常,良辰美景未细赏,请你不要再为谁而着凉!

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